Valerine - Episode 3

                 

                                                Valerine - Episode 3: The blue specs of light         

 The person walked past us, although I was sure that they had made eye contact with me. Of course, it had gotten out of my head as soon as I was in front of the car. However, on the way back, I got reminded of it again when I caught a glimpse of a blue night light. Were that boy’s eyes actually glowing blue? That could not be possible right? But I was still fascinated at the thought of it. I always had a fancy for blue eyes. They reminded me of the ocean. The idea of blue eyes which glow seemed very beautiful to me. If I had eyes like that, I would stare at them in the mirror for hours. I thought as I stared at the city lights, and the full moon shinning. After that, my mind went blank.

This happened with me quite a lot. I would slip into this sleep paralysis like state, for at least half an hour or sometimes at its worse, hours at a stretch of time. I heard my mom describe it as a ‘sleeping with your eyes open’ sort of thing. Which, I believed could be true, because sometimes, I would see visions which resembled a dream state and would forget them as soon as I would get to my senses. I would not remember even a mist of detail. However, more often than not, I would just be blank. Or maybe, I would still see something but it would erase off my memory so efficiently, that I would forget seeing anything at all. It felt different from sleeping, but I could not lay my finger on how. My dear grandmother had this condition as well. Hence everyone just shut it off as a genetically transferred minor disorder.  My mother was super embarrassed of it and would treat it like a ‘know and notice, but do not voice it out’ topic.  I would often find her staring at me with a broken expression and clear disappointment every time I came back to my sense when this paralysis happened around her. A few times, she had subtly hinted at me to try to cover it or control it, to be careful about it and trying my best for it to not happen in public. It had actually never happened in public, fortunately.

After I waking myself up from the paralysis, I saw that we were already home. I went straight to my room and decided to call it a day and started listening to some music before preparing to go to bed.  I had told my mother that I did not feel like eating anything. I surprisingly felt more and more tired with each minute that passed. I soon felt dizzy so I had to seat myself down. I tried lying in bed, but it only got worse. Thinking fresh air might help, I went out in my balcony. I feared that the doctors might have missed something and that maybe there was something wrong with me after all. The air did ease off a feeling of suffocation which I did not even realise I was experiencing. I decided to sit down and relax right there in hopes that it would make me feel better. To my good fortune, I did eventually start to feel better. The dizziness was gone, and so was the unsettling feeling of a light heartburn. All of it was followed by a mild headache, but it was tolerable. Much better than all the sickness I had beforehand. I sat still over there and debated whether I should tell my mom about it or not. I did not want to worry her or myself. Falling sick right before the finals seemed like a nightmare, especially after I had finally gotten hold of some consistency in finishing my syllabus. I leaned against the wall and rested my head. Suddenly, I smelt smoke from very close by. I shook up and looked for the source for a few seconds before realising it was coming from our new neighbours’ house. I heard the windows of being opened and before I knew it, the door of the balcony in front of mine opened. A familiar silhouette etched itself into scene, and waved at me. I stood up weakly and waved back. I did not know what to say so I was about to head back inside when Lorken spoke a full sentence to me for the first time. Something about it made a shiver run down my spine. The sentence was “Hey, are you sick?” His voice was deep and manly. It did not sound like that of a young boy at all.

“Yes, a little bit. I guess I just got really tired. I have to study for some upcoming finals you see”

“I see. Well that can be tough. Rest for a while. I am sure you will feel better and don’t bother messing your head with it too much”. He replied immediately. I was taken aback. This fellow, who was struggling to utter his own name that very afternoon, claiming it was because of a speech and hearing deficit, was now delivering full fluent sentences. His enunciations were far too clear for someone who was short of hearing.

“Yes, I will be alright.” I said trying to sound assuring while realising that to the irony of what I was saying, my headache was getting progressively worse. I shakily went back inside and had to sit on my bed for a while trying to decide if I should tell mom that I was feeling sick or go to bed with a potential disease. Since, I had gotten better over the past hour, and if it was a major problem, it might have been detected back at the doctor’s clinic, I decided that it was safe to go to bed.

That night, I had a lot of trouble falling asleep. I kept my eyes shut for hours, but I couldn’t sleep. I tried to think of other things, but my mind was empty. I did not open my eyes for what felt like hours, because I knew that if I did, the slight drowsiness which I had in them, would escape. Sometime later, I felt my room getting cooler. The darkness which was the only thing my mind could see from my closed eyelids got darker, as if there was a hand placed in front of them. The faint light of the street lamps which dimly lit my room, and created a sense of faint light onto my eyelids were gone, as if turned off, or as if…something was blocking them. I opened my eyes only to find myself in a daze. I was unable to recognise what corner of my room I was looking at, and what was strange was the fact that everything was…moving. It was as if I was looking at my room from underwater, water which had been disturbed. Hence, everything seemed like it was losing, floating around, or spinning. I tried to get up, but something blocked me. I was half seated somehow for a few seconds. That moment, I felt a prick right behind my left shoulder and a hint of pain. It felt like being bitten by a large mosquito with a metallic body. My back felt lighter and my nape felt stable like it was being supported by something. I got an uneasy feeling of wetness on my left shoulder, and felt dizzy again. The illusion of my room’s distorted imagery as if it were under water, combined with the dizziness, made everything feel just like a weird dream. It was like being in a dimension of spinning darkness This only lasted a few seconds, before I finally felt my shoulder get lighter and my back being comfortable laid back onto my bed’s soft mattress. Was I being held up the whole time? I could now make out the ceiling wall which I stared up at every single night, although it was blurry. The rest of my view was unusually dark: generally I would have been able to see my desk from the dim light coming from the streets. As, my head once again embraced the soft surface of my pillow, I saw from my blurry vision, a speck of faint blue light, then I could make out two of them. My head got lighter and lighter and my dizziness got worse.  I remember savouring my ability to feel my existence and presence, before finally, passing out.

I have no clue how long I might have slept because I next thing I knew, was my mother trying to wake me up. “Are you even alright?” she asked in a tone which I could not make out was angry or worried. The thing was, I was far from being “alright”. I had a baffling headache, and my shoulder was hurting too. I was unbearably sleepy and confused. I asked sleepily what time it was but mom ignored my question and placed a hand on my head. “How are you feeling?” I did not have the energy to answer. I just slumped forward and held my aching head in my hands and was probably about to fall asleep again, when my mom’s panicked voice shook me awake. “Valerine!”.  I was startled and asked “what’s wrong?”

“What’s this on your shoulder?” mom asked embracing the back of my left shoulder. It stung a bit where she touched.

Suddenly, I remembered the pain I had felt on my left shoulder and a sudden adrenaline release in my body made me jolt fully awake and spring up to rush to my mirror. I pulled down my sleeve which was already hanging loose and saw it – there were deep, freshly made fang marks on my shoulder.

To be continued...

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* The final cover image is a collage of multiple images sourced Legally from the internet. Credits: Kylie Johnson (The blue ocean {Right}) & Lukas Robertson (The black ocean {Left}). 

Source: Unsplash.

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